Toledo, Ohio (Blade Staff Writer) - The autobiography "Born on a Plaid Day: Inside the Extra-Ordinary Mind of an Inebriate Savant" has achieved critical acclaim for its heartfelt depiction of a drunken Spoof Writer's outlook on the world.
At an early age, Earnest SpaceElevator realized that he possessed the unique ability to multiply and divide without a calculator. During late adolescence he was eventually diagnosed by experts as an Inebriate Savant - one who has the ability to process large amounts of staggeringly useless information while drunk.
At a recent symposium Mr. SpaceElevator demonstrated fratboy-like prowess in sequentially reciting five-thousand English language synonyms for the word "intoxicated", all-the-while under the influence of ordinary cooking wine.
Doctors are currently looking at ways of ensuring that his genes remain in the shallow end of their own kiddie pool.