Paleontologists in New York have unearthed the fossil remains of a previously unknown hominid. Carbon dating indicates an age of 68 million years; much older than the famous Lucy uncovered in Africa.
Despite the extreme age of this specimen, researchers swear they saw it smile when they mentioned carbon "dating."
Others were surprised at the details surviving in the grimacing face. The specimen was wearing some type of shoulder straps the purpose of which is not known.
"We've got an ugly one here!" reports Professor Ima Dorc. "For such an early human this specimen shows an extremely enlarged head. Not at all like the Neaderthal's small head with forward jutting eyebrows."
Professor Dorc is a specialist in near-human species, widely known for her attempts to obtain snowmen and Big Foot DNA.