Written by Sal Manella
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Friday, 18 May 2007

image for Paris Hilton's Skull Site of Dense Black Hole - Hawking
Hawking Theorizes About Contents of Hilton's Skull

Stephen Hawking, the amazingly brilliant Briton, who is Lucasian Professor of Mathematics at Cambridge University, author of several outstanding books, and arguably the most intelligent person on the planet, announced yesterday that he theorizes that hotel heiress Paris Hilton's skull is the sight of an extraordinarily dense black hole.

Speaking to members of the media, Hawking said, "she may be alright to look at, but, as far as brains go, talk about dumb as a box of rocks, geesh."

Hawking's theory, if correct, may not be the much sought after theory of everything which reconciles quantum mechanics with relativity, but it goes a long way towards explaining Hilton's moronic behavior.

Sal Manella

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