London - (Ass Mess): Scientists working in the National Poisons Unit special DNA branch have made a breakthrough in the quest to identify the genome responsible for producing anti-abortionists.
The radical find points to a chromosome malfunction linked to mutations affecting rational thinking processes which are triggered by a virus originally present in some defective personal intimacy deodorants.
Today's discovery means that a simple urine test could eventually determine whether a male or female are about to produce a pregnancy resulting in a potential anti-abortionist one day.
And in further developments scientists say they are close to cracking mthe DNA code for assorted fascists, homophobes and wannabe Illuminati-type control freaks prevalent in global politics today.
A spokesman at the National Poisons Unit said today: "Hopefully we can screen out 99% of these anomalies by asking prospective parents just to piss on a swab.
"A barcode will then light up and reveal what kind of genomes are involved.
"And thanks to Jalapenoman's recent story for highlighting the blue/pink issues that might be involved."