Written by queen mudder
Print this
Topics: DNA

Wednesday, 16 May 2007

image for Scientists discover anti-abortionist genome
"Yep, this one could one day trying bombing a clinic"

London - (Ass Mess): Scientists working in the National Poisons Unit special DNA branch have made a breakthrough in the quest to identify the genome responsible for producing anti-abortionists.

The radical find points to a chromosome malfunction linked to mutations affecting rational thinking processes which are triggered by a virus originally present in some defective personal intimacy deodorants.

Today's discovery means that a simple urine test could eventually determine whether a male or female are about to produce a pregnancy resulting in a potential anti-abortionist one day.

And in further developments scientists say they are close to cracking mthe DNA code for assorted fascists, homophobes and wannabe Illuminati-type control freaks prevalent in global politics today.

A spokesman at the National Poisons Unit said today: "Hopefully we can screen out 99% of these anomalies by asking prospective parents just to piss on a swab.

"A barcode will then light up and reveal what kind of genomes are involved.

"And thanks to Jalapenoman's recent story for highlighting the blue/pink issues that might be involved."

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 multiplied by 3?

7 9 24 12
50 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience on our website, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more