San Francisco California - Bristol Myers Spokesman Julian Mazoola announced that The Bristol Myers Corporation has developed a laxative that works instantaneously.
The Laxative comes in mint flavored pill form and is easy to swallow. The user simply puts the pill in their mouth and when it touches saliva a chemical is created that causes a sudden explosive bowl movement.
It is suggested that the user of the product be sitting on a toilet when the pill is taken. Bristol Myers accepts no liability if the pill is taken and a toilet is not on the area.
The pill will be marketed as SPEEDLAX The supersonic laxative.
Mazoola further stated that the pill was designed for people in mid level management of retail stores and other white-collar workers who are full of Crap.
Bristol Myers stock went up twelve percent after the announcement was made.