Written by Doppelbock
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Friday, 11 May 2007

image for NASA Engineers Disagree on Design of New Space Vehicle
NASA's new Ares launch vehicle will resemble the old Saturn V.

HOUSTON, TX (AP Newsliar) -- Lead engineers at Johnson Space Center are in stark disagreement over the best overall design configuration for NASA's planned Ares space launch vehicle.

Ares will replace the ageing Space Shuttle fleet as America's premier manned space launch capability. The Ares vehicle will launch a crew capsule carrying 4 astronauts, and a larger heavy-lift cargo vehicle is also planned.

This week, two key figures within the NASA Ares program office continued to butt heads over design issues: Dr. Harvey Geekwell, chief engineer for the Ares program, and Johnson Space Center chief scientist Dexter Nerdenstein.

NASA officials downplayed the disagreement. "The fact that two highly esteemed and eminently professional rocket scientists with such outstanding critical thinking skills would have this kind of disagreement just goes to show how complicated it can be to design a spacecraft," NASA spokesperson Curt N. Rod said.

"Dexter is just such a big stupid head," says Dr. Geekwell. "His rocket design looks like a big penis. He must like penises."

"DOCTOR Geekwell doesn't like any design he didn't come up with himself," says Dexter Nerdenstein. "But oh, he's a big DOCTOR, he's got a Ph.D., so he's like the only one capable of designing a rocket. Did I mention he's a DOCTOR? Better get that right in your article or you'll be hearing from him. It's DOCTOR Geekwell. You should also put that he's a big fat poopy-head."

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