CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Today, President George W. Bush was taken to the hospital. After hearing that stuttering could be caused by a problem in the striatum, White House doctors decided that they should have the president tested. What they found was an early version of the Verichip lodged in the president's brain.
When the doctors finished their testing and asked the president about it, President Bush replied, "Heh, heh... my daddy had it put there so he could find me if I got kind... kidne... kindap... taken from my daddy."
The Verichip is a human-implantable RFID (radio frequency identification) device from VeriChip Corporation that can be used to access information stored on a database for identity verification, medical records access and other uses.
It can be used to locate you wherever you go, access your financial information, and identify you wherever you are.
President Bush plans to require everyone in America to receive the implants before he leaves office in the name of "protection against terrerism."
He has not yet decided if he should cancel the 2008 elections in the interest of America.