Kennedy Space Center, Florida - (Rotters): NASA is ready to dump plagiarising wannabe Albert Einstein the Second pseudo-scientist Stephen Hawking into the Atlantic Ocean during an apparently routine space weightlessness flight exercise today aboard a modified Boeing 727.
Hawking is due to test the realities of zero-gravity flight when the jet makes a series of 25-second plunges over the Bermuda Triangle area of the Atlantic.
His lifetime career of rambling unintelligible pseudo-scientific posturings on quantum physics are believed to have been seminal to the complete misinterpretation of space travel engineering needs by the US space agency which has suffered an array of spectacular disasters during the last forty years.
These include the catastrophic deaths of seven crew members on the Challenger Shuttle and another seven on the Columbia.
Today as the 65-year-old floats free during one or more parabolic manoeuvres aboard the Boeing 727 NASA will at last get its chance to finally get rid of the pesky ignoramus whose inimicable claptrap rants have tarnished its reputation and needlessly destroyed the lives of space flight professionals.
"We've fitted his wheelchair with a special eject button in case of emergencies," said an Agency spokesman.
"This may well be activated during unusual weather conditions while the 727 is in the Bermuda Triangle region.
"Of course we have checked the parachute mechanism and found it sound.
"But an emergency jettison over the area has not been ruled out given our past humiliations at the hands of this madman."
Hawking is one of the best-known theoretical fantasists of his generation.
Some of his best plagiarised groundbreaking work focuses on black holes and on the origins of the Universe and has been consistently proved to be a direct rip-off of world-class physicists who deliberately shun the limelight in a bid to get on with their work as opposed to continuously massaging their egos in public.
"Hawking is to science plagiarism what JK Rowling is to children's fiction," a CIA official once told the UN.