Written by Cal Jennings
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Topics: Aliens, McDonalds

Monday, 16 April 2007

image for Mothman Found Running a McDonalds
Strange writing led investigator to Mothman

After years of searching, scientific and paranormal researchers finally discovered what happened to the Mothman of Point Pleasant, WV.

The events surrounding the Mothman began on November 12, 1966 near Clendenin, West Virginia. The last event attributed to the Mothman was at around 5:00 in the evening on December 15, 1967 when the Silver Bridge collapsed causing dozens of vehicles filled with people to fall to an icy death in the Ohio River. Since then, scientists, UFOlogists, and paranormal investigators have been searching for evidence or traces of the Mothman.

One lucky investigator, known only as "The Dark Knight," while deciding to go for lunch, came upon a McDonalds sign with strange writing underneath. Upon entering, he found the Mothman standing behind the counter ready to take his order. He immediately called in his reporter friend, "Crazy" Cal Jennings, to interview the Mothman.

Crazy Cal: "Mothman, why did you disappear from Point Pleasant, West Virginia?"

Mothman: "Well, the economy in that area was declining and there didn't seem to be much more havoc I could wreak there."

Crazy Cal: "But why manage a McDonalds?"

Mothman: "Corporate America isn't very good to illegal aliens unless you want to do labor for them. This was the best business venture I could find. Besides, I get to kill many more people more slowly this way by increasing their cholesterol."

Crazy Cal: "Is that really as satisfying?"

Mothman: "No, but in these days with the Bush Administration putting cameras everywhere, I decided it was best to keep a low profile. Who wants to be tortured as a terrorist?"

After the interview, Crazy Cal ordered a Quarter Pounder with Cheese mean and had it Super Sized to show support. After his lunch, Crazy Cal asked "The Dark Knight" if this find was significant in his field of expertise.

"Certainly," said "The Dark Knight," "It puts an end to years of searching and speculation by the UFO and Paranormal research groups."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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