A paper to be published today in the prestigious journal Nature claims to prove intelligent life exists on Mars. The paper, written by a team of scientists led by Dr. James Hansen of NASA, claims that the melting of the Martian polar ice caps indicates that a carbon-based industrial society is thriving temporarily on Mars.
The Mars and Earth shaking paper argues the melting Martian polar ice caps are caused by increases in the temperature of the planet because of the greenhouse effect. (The greenhouse effect is the warming of a planet's temperature attributed to higher concentrations of carbon dioxide in its atmosphere.) Since the major cause of increased atmospheric carbon dioxide concentration is the burning of carbon-based fuels, such as coal and oil, the increase in the temperature of Mars can only be caused by intelligent life burning these fuels and destroying their planet.
The paper concludes that Earthlings should show their solidarity with Martians through launching a rocket carrying a copy of the movie An Inconvenient Truth to warn them of their environmental perils.
"We are not alone in the universe," said Dr. Hansen in a phone call. "The shrinking polar ice caps on Mars clearly prove that other planets are facing catastrophic global warming just like ours. It would be tragic if the Martians didn't have an Al Gore to save the Martians from a disaster of their own making."
Dr. Claude Rosenberg, Professor of Alien Biology at the University of Texas Del Rio had this to say: "I agree. We should show the Martians we care. We should send them every copy of An Inconvenient Truth we can find."