A new genetic breakthrough has found the mechanism that makes fat girls so bossy. Working for the last nine years on a drug for reducing obesity in teenagers, a London based specialist found the chromosome responsible.
Dr Albert Springer explained how they had found a link between diet coke and overweight young adults. It was a mystery at first how Biffas (fat girls), could consistently put on weight but still drink the sugar free soda. Springer has proved a direct link with the phosphates in coke and gene expression.
The bossy gene discovery was a by product of this research and surprised the pencil necked researchers. It was only when they saw a larger than average chromosome ordering around the smaller ones, that they recognised the potential discovery.
This has been hailed as one of the most momentous discoveries of the 21st century by Tits Magazine. The editor, Billy Boyd was quoted as saying, 'this will free thousands of people of both sexes from the domineering shadow of fat birds'. Other organisations such as Weight Watchers have decried the results and said that this would make it harder to find consultants. Without fat, bossy women, we will have no staff, complained a spokeswoman.
The Society of Overweight Ladies have rebutted the findings and have issued a statement that the scientists have made a mistake and they had better get it right next time.