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Sunday, 15 April 2007

image for "There is life on Mars" New Research Claims!
Will Martian Warming Cause the Extinction of the Rare Martian Polar Bghjocxy?

Intelligent Life Exists on Mars Claims NASA Scientist.

A paper to be published today in the prestigious journal Nature claims definitive proof that intelligent life exists on Mars. The paper, written by a team of scientists, led by Dr. James Hansen of NASA, claims the melting of the Martian polar ice caps proves that a carbon-based industrial society is teetering on the brink of destruction on Mars.

The paper maintains the only possible cause of the melting Martian polar ice caps is the greenhouse effect. (The greenhouse effect is the warming of a planet's temperature because of higher concentrations of carbon dioxide in its atmosphere.) Since the major cause of increased atmospheric carbon dioxide concentration is the burning of carbon-based fuels, such as coal and oil, the increase in the temperature of Mars can only be caused by intelligent life burning these fuels and hastening the destruction of their planet.

The paper concludes that Earthlings should show their solidarity with Martians through launching a rocket carrying the movie An Inconvenient Truth to warn them of their impending doom and how to stop it.

"We are not alone in the universe," said Dr. Hansen in a phone call. "The shrinking polar ice caps on Mars clearly prove that other planets have life that is facing catastrophic global warming. It would be tragic if the Martians didn't have an Al Gore to save them from an environmental holocaust disaster of their own genocidal making."

Dr. Claude Rosenberg, Professor of Alien Biology at the University of Texas Del Rio had this to say: "I agree. We should show the Martians we care. We should send them every copy of An Inconvenient Truth we can find."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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