Written by Bob
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Topics: Space, War on Terror

Monday, 12 January 2004

image for Bush's 'Moonbase' to go ahead, Martians next in War on Terror
Yeah, one can of Tango, a Hawiian style pizza and some french fries please.

President Bush has announced plans for future space exploration. The President, regarded as the most powerful man on the planet, has highlighted plans to build a base on the moon "before the Ruskies do" so he can launch manned missions to Mars.

Bush said, "We will have men on the moon by 2008, living in biodomes and living on a diet of moonplants and spacegrass. They will then be able to make manned missions to Mars and continue the War on Terror with the Martians."

In his speech to congress, Mr Bush outlined his plans for a crack team of astronaut marines to take on any alien threat. "We cannot have aliens blowing apart our cities, like what I saw on TV. Luckily we have men like Will Smith to deal with this threat."

"I plan to put more men like him in space, with laser guns and spaceships. Then we'll be prepared for the Martian's assault. We will not stand idly by whilst they come down here and infect our womenfolk."

Additionally, the President admitted that he also had more terrestrial concerns. "The Commies won't get to the moon before us, we'll beat them. With a base on the moon, we will keep a constant watch on the Reds in the USSR."

Some of Mr Bush's comments have led to an increased belief that Mr Bush might not be 'all there'. In particular, Dick Chaney said in a private phone call, which The Spoof tapped; "I think it may be time for me to take control."

But Bush is adamant that space will be explored. "I want to build a giant space station the size of a moon with a big cannon. I saw one on TV and now I want one."

Tony Blair said, "I fully stand by Mr Bush. Britain will stand shoulder to shoulder with American in this matter."

Hippy pressure groups and conspiracy theorists used the Internet to launch their complaints. One site claimed that America already had a base on the moon from which they launch flying saucers at earth to spy on conspiracy theorists; another said that the Americans staged the moon landing to win over impressionable conspiracy theorists.

Russian Premier Vladmir Putin said, "I don't understand what Mr Bush is saying."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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