Written by Kagendo
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Topics: Food, Meat

Wednesday, 28 March 2007

image for Young Expectant Mothers Looking for a Different Life for their Children, Chow Down on Red Meat
The New Breakfast, Lunch, & Dinner of many Pregnant, but Unwed Women

In the wake of scientific studies linking red meat consumption during pregnancy to low sperm count in male offspring, there has been a enormous spike in the red meat intake of unmarried, pregnant women, especially those in their teens.

"If my little boy is anything like his father, he's gonna be a no good dead-beat dad before he turns 18," says Sally Dennet, avid Jerry Springer fan, "That ain't good for nobody, so I'm takin' action now. I've been eatin' so much steak, this boy be lucky if he shoot anything but blanks his whole life."

Ethicists, however, are worried about a generation of young, disillusioned women acting to effectively sterilize their baby boys even before birth.

"The most effective means of dealing with teen pregnancy is to educate the teens," says Sociologist Brad Fitswell, "Teach them about condom use and abstinance and you'll find that drastic measures like these are as unnecessary as they are immoral."

"Abstinance? That shit didn't work on me, or that no good son of a bitch Greg [Patrello], so why should it work on my little boy?" said Dennet, between puffs on a cigarette, "No, I'm gonna make sure my boy don't leave no poor girl all alone with a swelled-up belly like I got."

Patrello, Dennet's child's alleged biological father, was unavailable for comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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