The World Health Organization and UNAIDS said circumcision should be added to current interventions to reduce the spread of HIV. However, the recommendations only apply to countries where rates of heterosexual transmission is high. Countries breeding more men than women (& thereby scaring other women into not visiting), heaved a sigh of relief.
WHO and UNAIDS said access to the procedure should be urgently scaled up in areas with high rates of heterosexual infection and low rates of male circumcision.
A senior official from the UN immediately responded to this statement by standing up and saying, "Duh!!"
In Sub-Saharan countries, where millions of lives could be saved by this simple procedure, certain tribes who do not allow their totem poles to be tampered with, have already started revolting.
In a more sophisticated part of the world, Mr. Munroe looked down sadly and said as tears rolled down his cheek, "It won't look like a missile any more."
The most important reason as to why this news has not been well received is perhaps because there was no evidence yet as to whether circumcision has any impact on the risk of infection for the woman or on the risk among men who have sex with other men (and many other kinds of people who are forbidden from mention in any literary article from sheer fear of the viewer being severely disgusted).
Kevin De 'Cock', director of HIV/AIDS at the World Health Organization said, "These recommendations address many of the benefits of including male circumcision in a comprehensive HIV prevention package."
These packages are also said to contain other exciting goodies such as, blow up dolls, Paris Hilton's home video part 3: Enter the Chihuahua, and a year's subscription to 'pay-pal porno'.
He also went on to state that; "However, we must be clear that male circumcision does not provide complete protection against HIV."
No sooner said, there were foul outcries as a lot of angry men expressed their anguish of being cheated.
To further dampen the occasion, the gala evening ended with the paparazzi storming in to capture the first ever circumcision conducted by Lorena Bobbitt.