Written by Tom Taylor
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Thursday, 22 March 2007

image for Microwave Planned for Giant, Frozen Squid. If Unsuccessful - Colossal Calamari - Deep Sea, Deep Fried
Mmm it's the 'giant' that makes it so tasty.

A Colossal Squid, frozen after being caught by New Zealand fisherman, is to be thawed out using a giant microwave. This was the first time we as a species have come into contact with a living colossal squid, our response was typically humane.

"We jabbed hooks into it..." said one of the fisherman "... long, sharp hooks on the end of poles. It took us two hours of struggling to get it on board. You'd think the thing wanted to live or something."

According to squid expert Steve O'Shea, "It's huge and it's frozen, obviously we need to use a microwave. I've tried it at home with smaller squid and even a chicken, it worked... although the chicken ended up a bit rubbery."

Hungrier people have suggested thawing the 10-meter giant out using batter and boiling oil... maybe with a bit of lemon.

- Tom Taylor.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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