Written by Tom Taylor
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Wednesday, 21 March 2007

image for Not the King of the Jungle, BBC presenter Simon King attacked by Cheetah
Pink, Fluffy, Ready to Kill.

BBC presenter Simon King has been mildly attacked by a rather small and sick female Cheetah.

"I had no idea they could move so fast." said the man who claims to be an 'expert' on Cheetahs.

King, best known for his Big Cat Diary programmes, was utterly shocked by the Cheetah's behaviour, "Honestly, you think you know a bit about something. Then suddenly, without provocation, after you approach it assuming the wild creature is tame, and then you poke it with a sharp stick a few times, it attacks you for no reason."

Simon King received a few scratches but is otherwise fine.

In return, the man who has professed his love and admiration for these fine creatures, kicked the rather small cheetah in the chest and was pleased that it later died from rabies.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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