Written by Mark Lowton
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Topics: Space, Aliens, NASA, Mars

Wednesday, 7 January 2004

image for NASA Scientists Find Water on Mars
Mars in colour

In the midst of their most recent mission to the Red Planet, NASA have released colour photographs, received from an orbiting satellite, showing just where the water is to be found.

"It's amazing!" Exclaimed one scientist, "Whenever we've seen pictures of Mars before, they've always been black and white. It turns out the water's been there all along, we just couldn't see it!"

NASA is preparing a series of missions to send humans to Mars. As the atmosphere is immensely toxic, big domes will need to be erected to house the first settlers. However, as they now know of the vast water supplies, we will be able to produce inexhaustible amounts of oxygen easily and quickly.

Boeing is said to be in co-operation with NASA to build the first large scale ships to carry first human colonists, settlers and supplies to the red planet.

McDonalds, who are part funding the project are said to be delighted. In a statement given to us, they say, "This is brilliant news, we are delighted. We are even bringing out a new "McMars" range to serve to our first customers on the Red Planet. This is a great day in the history of McDonalds?It's one small step for the world, one giant leap for McDonalds."

NASA has begun a full calculation of the estimated time until the first man will set foot on Martian soil. There are rumours that rookie Spanish spaceman Chris Columbus may be asked to take this position, this has caused discontent amongst other spacemen who feel his name gives him a very unfair disadvantage.

The European space agency is considering yet another mission to Mars. However, they have yet to find people willing to take up the challenge due to fears over a safe landing.


Mars

The image at the top of this story shows the Martian surface in colour. You can plainly see the vast ocean covering much of Mars' surface. And you can clearly see in this smaller image, taken from the same angle but in black and white that the sea is virtually invisible.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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