Written by Skews Me
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Tuesday, 13 March 2007

image for What's your ancestry? Out of Africa for Arayan Nation leader
Trace your heritage

To settle a bar bet, Jonathan Williams, leader of Arayan Nation faction "The Church of Jesus Christ Christian," underwent genetic testing to discover his ancestry.

Upon opening the participation kit from The DNA Ancestry Project, Williams is alleged to have said, "My great-great-grandparents were proud Arayans, and theirs before them."

Two months later when the results were in, Williams held a press conference. "I hope this will show the world my pure lineage once and for all," he told the media circus.

Williams' face turned pale when he read the findings, and his knees buckled. "It musta been a [explicative deleted] in the woodshed," he choked out upon the realization that he had African paternal ancestry.

Reaction from other Arayans present was mixed. Some demanded Williams step down as leader. Others said it must have been rape. One shouted "contaminated sample!" All agreed that they would never look at Williams the same way again.

Critics at the scene had to stop laughing before responding to questions. Protest organizer Ashley White commented, "This is the funniest thing I've ever heard. Where's their white power now?"

Copyright © 2007, SkewsMe

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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