Written by politicalpop
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Topics: evolution

Monday, 12 March 2007

image for Vegans Will Die Out Soon Due to Natural Selection
Natural selection is very clever but not as clever as the scientists

Researchers analysing a fossilized toilet claim to have uncovered the first direct evidence that modern day vegans will die out through natural selection any time now. Let's face it, nature is red in tooth and claw, and just 7000 years ago, anyone who refused to digest milk, died out. Nowadays more than 90% of the European white population digest milk proving once and for all that natural selection leads to white supremacy.

White Europeans incurred a rapid change in genetic make-up because we hold an evolutionary advantage to be able to digest white milk, says John Thomas at University College London in the UK.

90% of northern Europeans have a version of the superior white lactase gene that remains active throughout life, enabling us to continue drinking milk as adults thus forcing vegans to run for it.

To determine when this superior lactose tolerance evolved in Germany, 'Dick' Thomas's team analysed the DNA from some old bones belonging to eight Neolithic Germans. After extracting the DNA from the dead Germans, they identified the lactase gene. He believes that the lactose tolerance spontaneously arose in Europe within the past 7000 years and quickly spread to the US, South Africa, anywhere the white man dominated through natural selection.

The ability to digest milk would lead to superior white people living thousands of years ago. Milk from cows is white making it safer to drink than stream water which isn't. It is also available all year long, unlike vegetables.

The ability to decipher genes from fossils is a supreme feat of natural selection in itself with only the biggest brains being able to do it, says Randy Redclaw at the University of Illinois. Redclaw also believes that he personally is the greatest example of direct evidence for recent natural selection leading to superior humans.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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