Written by BluntScissors
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Topics: Space

Monday, 26 February 2007

image for Britain Creates First Space Tea Bag
A test rocket for the British space programme

The Space Agency of the UK has had many fine moments over the years - the first British astronaut; the Beagle which failed to land on Mars.

But now all those great achievements are to be joined by another. Scientists at the Institute for Space Research in Staines have invented a tea bag which can be used in zero gravity. The bag comes with a hook so it can be tethered to the cup, preventing those embarrassing 'spilt tea on the control computer' situations which have so hampered the British space programme in the past.

A test launch is due this summer. As is standard for space testing, humans will not be involved until the technique is shown to be safe. The tea bags will be put to the test during a 3000-mile high chimp's tea party, complete with teapots, biscuits and proper headgear (top hats or flat caps depending on the class of the chimp). All taking place with trained apes in zero gravity, so it's sure to be a hoot. The trip is sponsored by PG Tips, who will use footage in their next advert.

If proved successful, the British space programme should be able to progress full steam ahead. The next planned mission is to make curry on Mars.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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