Written by BluntScissors

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Topics: Language

Sunday, 25 February 2007

image for Scientists discover new letter
The new letter Britney

Scientists at the University of Tooting have discovered the existence of a new letter after listening to the grunts of south London teenagers. Previously it was assumed that there were only twenty six letters used by English speakers, but a new letter will now need to be added.

The sound is somewhere between an 'ng' and a sigh, but is not like any of the existing letters. The new letter has been provisionally called 'Britney' until a name is formally decided.

The symbol for the new letter is undecided, one professor has suggested using the symbol formerly used by the artist formerly known as Prince, as he doesn't really need it any more. Another scientist has suggested using an unintelligible scribble to represent the letter, as this would be easier to learn by poorly educated teenagers.

This is the first new letter discovered in the English-speaking world since the Australian letter 'oi' was found by Professor Charles Oi in 1862. The Australian alphabet has only four letters.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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