Written by Troy Titus
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Topics: Weather, Farmers

Tuesday, 30 December 2003

image for Did ancient man control the weather?
Can he change the weather?

For Millennia man has sought to control the weather. From the Stone Age to the modern day - farmers, magicians and lawyers have sought to influence the elements.

Well according to Professor Paul Lye, from the University of Australia, the aborigines were using crude methods to adapt the weather on a yearly basis. From rock and soil strata analyses Professor Lye found evidence in the form of clear demarcations between periods of cold, heat and moisture. Natural weather produces slight degradations between weather types in clay soils. To further vindicate his theory Professor Lye found 5,000 year old stone tablets in caves at Woolawonga, detailing the weather patterns required for a 20 year span.

A leading Aboriginal spokesman denied the claims vigorously insisting they were "dreamt up by a madman, or homosexual".

However Professor Lye has not been dissuaded in his research, indeed he has been granted funding of over £5 million (Sterling) to carry on his research by none other than the eminent philanthropologist, Sir Richard Branson.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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