Written by James Wallin
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Friday, 16 February 2007

image for No evidence of reality TV on Mars points to intelligent life
Mars: A cretin free zone?

A high resolution camera mounted on a spaceship orbiting Mars has found no signs that reality TV exists or has ever existed on the red planet. The pictures also showed a substantial lack of interest in popstars' vaginas or dead strippers. Scientists, who know about these sort of things, say these are the surest indications yet that intelligent life could exist in outer space.

The images were recorded by Nasa's Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter (official sponsor:Uncle Ben's Rice), which was launched in August 2005. The pictures beamed back to earth show a barren yet peaceful landscape filled with rocky ridges, canyoned regions and relatively few Stabucks.

Plans are afoot to send a probe down on to the planet's surface in a more sustained hunt for stupidity. Scientists plan to overturn a wide range of rocks in search of politicians, as well as investigating ponds for traces of journalists at work on the planet. They are confident that no such proof of idiocy will be found.

William Shatner, TV's Mr Toupee, said he was very excited by the new discovery. However, as usual, he was surprised by the lack of wrinkly headed aliens in need of a good karate chop, and bikini clad woman to save.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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