Written by Doug Powers
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Topics: Scientists, Mars

Saturday, 27 December 2003

image for UK's Mars probe crashes on crashed US probe, which crashed on crashed Russian probe
Britain's "Beagle", nothing like the one pictured above, has been lost.

In what scientists are describing as odd series of coincidences, the United Kingdom's spacecraft which was to land on Mars, called "Beagle 2", crashed landed directly on top of NASA's Polar Lander, which crashed on Mars in 1999.

To add to the string of odd coincidences, it has been learned that not only did the UK's "Beagle 2" crash on NASA's crashed Polar Lander, but in 1999, the Polar Lander had crashed directly on the USSR's crashed Mars 2 lander, which crashed in 1971. The crashed Mars 2 lander had crashed right on top of the crashed Kosmos 419, another Russian ship that plunged to the surface a few months before the Mars 2 crashed into it.

Spokespeople from all countries involved say they would have made more out of these incidents if they weren't so incredibly embarrassed. For now, they are hoping NASA's orbiting Mars Odyssey can provide some clues.

The Mars Odyssey has been orbiting the Red Planet since 2001, and noticing a depletion in the the planet's ozone layer. Some scientists theorize this to be either a clear sign of life using hairspray, or that the depletion is being caused by the smoke coming from all the spaceships we keep crashing into the planet. The Mars Odyssey has yet to pick up a signal from any of the landers.

Given the new information, scientists expect the orbiting Odyssey to crash on the "Beagle 2" in the coming months.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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