Written by badguy
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Topics: Robots, Technology

Monday, 12 February 2007

image for Terminator Found in Man's Car
A terminator

Police recovered a 'terminator' from the boot of Ford Sierra Estate late last night, the driver was taken in for questioning. The arrest raises fresh alarms at the unknown quantity that is the spread of 'home made technology'.

Some copper had this to say - "quite simply it is people at home in their basements, in their bedrooms, having a go. And when you see things like this it just makes you think, well they could be making anything. At the end of last year we had seized a time machine, a dog and now this.

"The dog could have been just a dog, but that's the point, how will we know now."

The owner of the car who cannot be named yet was picked up on a deserted mountain road with a terrified look on his gormless face. David Chestnut a NASA spokesperson said "(the terminator) had a fully functional 18 millimetre minigun attached to its arm capable of firing 200 rounds per minute and possibly reducing another terminator to dust in just seconds which I would love to see. Not a T100, a normal one..." He added "There are no such things as terminators that's just what I reckon, but the point is you don't need that kind of fire power for rag-tagging with your frat brothers, you know what I mean." No I don't.

Home made technology sparks growing concerns among governments around the world who feel they will not be able to regulate advances in certain fields and that 'basement breakthroughs' will limit the possibilities of further annihilation of weaker nations of which there is already a dangerous shortage.

I spoke to Professor Royal London Institute for Science and Technology. "People should not be tampering with things I don't understand... I mean what if somebody found a cure for cancer while fannying around in their bathroom... The consequences would be catastrophic."

Extensive reverse engineering revealed this particular Terminator was programmed to do all sorts! An MP said "I'd be lying if I started speaking..."

More to follow.


FAQ:

What have scientists developed?
... What everything?

How does it work?
... Science?

How could it be used?
it depends

What is next?
you, you little...


Phil Cihlar on top science
Monday February 12, 2007

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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