Digger Phelps, University of Notre Dame former basketball coach and archaeologist, claims to have discovered a round world map from 1207.
"Round ball, round world...all those years of playing and coaching I felt there was a message that I wasn't getting from "the rock"! After the monks fired my ass 'cause winning is the real Catholic cardinal virtue, I went off to be true to myself...I dug! One day, there it was a leather map that dated 13th century with a round world perspective. I found it in the catacombs of an old British church and I had to pull it out of the clutches of Dan Brown who will still probably try to make into DVC II"
Historian and Religion-hater, I. Cono-Clast, speculates in a recent piece in the Daily Mail that the Church hierarchy buried the map to protect a literal interpretation of the Bible: "They couldn't accept that people of their own time knew the world was round.Round is bad, flat is good when you can't stand curves. And the newly celibacy obsessed clergy of the new millennium certainly hated curves."
Phelps claims that in a corner of the map you can see a rudimentary pole and a basket, possibly a peach basket. At the foot of the pole, Digger Phelps believes you can see a hint of an unusually large round ball. In the background, he claims, under an electron microscope, some have seen one large dark figure with large hands.