Written by K. Napolitano
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Tuesday, 6 February 2007

image for Valentine's Day Robot Brings World Peace
The Man-Bot 2007 even sells itself, and its optional five-year warranty

Women across America are hailing the release of the new Man-Bot 2007 as the perfect antidote for Valentine's Day blues. Designed through a joint venture of Microsoft and the National Organization for Women, the Man-Bot 2007 showcases the best "man" features while eliminating the annoying side effects often experienced by women who rely on the real thing. Anatomically correct and outfitted with an integrated AI chip, the Man-Bot 2007 promises to be a welcome alternative to real human males.

The Man-Bot 2007 is equipped uniquely with a sensor that allows it to respond to an ever shifting emotional dynamic. Stretching well beyond the limitations of human males, this 21st century man-machine can move rapidly from sympathetic listening to passionate foreplay and back again. For an additional cost, models can also be equipped with a "gay best friend" program that encourages dancing and kvetching about mutual friends for hours.

It's not only bored women who are eager to experiment with this hot new toy. The United Nations has formed a committee to explore the feasibility of replacing world leaders with Man-Bot 2007 models permanently set to the "conflict resolution" setting.

Copyright 2007, K. Napolitano

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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