Washington DC - Two-thousand homeless people - men, women and children - clamored in front of the White House today to express their excitement for the funding the US government has given to NASA to equip their upcoming satellites with a new moon rock scooper priced at 2 billion dollars each.
"This is a proud and happy day for us homeless folk," said Frank Eddleman PHD, who now lives in a Sears refrigerator box. "Why, just a week ago, as I was gnawing on a chicken bone left in the trash, I said to my friend 'You know what this world needs? A real good, reliable moon rock scooper! That's what!'"
Eddleman is not alone in his sentiments. Other homeless people showed their support with signs that read, "We think the scooper is super-dooper!" and "The world could always use more moon rock!"
Five-year-old Chris Ableman, whose dreams of being an astronaut were shattered after the death of his father and the loss of their home, showed his excitement for the new scoopers. "This is like a dream come true for me," he said through a mouthful of stale pizza crust. "If I can't go to the moon, then maybe the moon can come to me!"
"Chris has always loved space exploration," said Mrs. Ableman, 45, Chris' mother. "Now, we can sleep better at night knowing part of his dream will be scooped up over and over by a two billion dollar scooper. That dumpster won't seem so cold at night."
"The Moon Scoop will change the way we collect moon rock," said Robert Keily, Chief of NASA's Moon Science Department. "It's true we have lots of moon rock, but you never know when you'll find that one special piece that could make our world a better place for everyone."
Keily made it a point to find five-year-old Ableman in order to give the boy his own piece of moon rock. Ableman thanked him and gulped the rock down hungrily.
"See," said Keily, "it's helping already!"