Written by Ace Ventura
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Topics: Science, Genetics

Saturday, 3 February 2007

image for Breakthrough in Gene Recreation

Dr. Rupert J. Boredwell once said "Let's make a superhuman." The next day he was found shot dead and his apartment was empty. His successor Dr. I.M Gaye (I seem to be writing about him alot), took over his project soon made a breakthrough.

His project was initially researching superhuman acne. One grade-school teenage volunteer with horrible acne, Dan Rumpleacneskin, now, whenever he pops a pimple, causes highly acidic pus to explode in all directions.

The outcome of this project seems to have caused more damage than good. New York lay in a smouldering pus filled ruin and Dan was standing in the middle of it. The young voice-breaking teen was jailed and Gaye rushed to his rescue.

Having no money following the loss on his lie about the Incredibly Gay Disease Boy Band Syndrome Lance Bass (I'm surprised I thought he actually had it), the only one who didn't have the disease among Nick Carter, Nick Lacey, Justin Timberlake Aaron Carter and others Lance sued I.M for everything.

Dan remained in jail for one night. During which, a cluster of pimples ruptured, allowing him and several other prisoners to escape.

I.M and Dan now face Supreme Court under I.M's estranged sister I.M.W.I.T.H Gaye who was fired from her recent job thanks to her brother. She said in a statement: "This is a way to get back at my fucking asshole of a brother. Hey, what are you doing under my desk? SECURITY!"

At which point I was thrown roughly out the building damn diplomatic immunity.

More on the story next week...if I'm released on bond...

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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