Written by Pointer
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Sex

Thursday, 1 February 2007

image for "What Gets Repressed Will Be Sexpressed" Tops Best Sellers List!
Very Reverend Tittslesin, leading Carmel-Lite essayist and sexual repressionist

Havinghurst Dawurst's brilliant examination of the human mind and sexual repression has made its way from the lecture halls to the living rooms and bedrooms of readers and lovers around the world.

What Gets Repressed Will be Sexpressed has as its thesis that the repression of any feeling or thought will be expressed someway,somehow sexually.

Dawurst points to the literary masterpiece, The Scarlet Letter as his paradigm: "Fuck Prynne, Make Pearl, Hide, Get Really Bad Rash".

Besides his psychological genius, Dawurst's telegraphic style has captured literary critics' fancy. One such critic, Lionel Swann, trumpeted: "No one sends telegraphs anymore and that's what makes Havinghurst Dawurst a genius.His telegraphic style is a perfect symbol for the repression/sexpression model!"

Conservative Christians who have been trying to ban every book taught in schools but especially books that involve real human experiences are outraged by the ascendancy of Dawurst. Very Reverend Frederick "The Great" Tittslesin argues in an article in Carmel-lite, a religious journal for the light-weight: "What gets repressed, only makes you stronger until it kills you which, which only sends you to heaven which is a good thing since life sucks especially if you decided to become a Catholic priest and spent your whole life celibate and so tremendously repressed that you were really mean to people, especially children in Jesus' name. Amen."

Dawurst said that he thinks Tittslesin is a pitiful, sad thing and that he and his wife would like to start a sex advice column.

Make Pointer's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 plus 1?

8 5 1 15
78 readers are online right now!

Go to top