Written by SamIAm
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Tuesday, 30 January 2007

image for Scientist Travels Country To Spread News Of Global Warming - Freezes Ass Off In Rock Springs, Wyoming
You people *need* global warming

Rock Springs - Scientist, Fred Hurns, head of the Science Department at Washington State, had planned a three month tour of the country to help spread proof that the planet is suffering global warming. His tour was cut short, however, after freezing his ass off in Rock Springs, Wyoming.

"I am here to warn you of the impending doom our planet faces," Hurns began, addressing a group of officials outside the Rock Springs County Courthouse. "If we do not change our ways this planet will suffer from the heat of . . . Holy hell it's cold here! How in God's name do you people stand this? I mean, it must be fifty below!"

In fact, it was 70 below zero with the wind chill.

A shivering Hurns attempted to continue. "As I was saying - If we do not . . . Damn it! Someone get me some hot coffee or something!"

Hurns was unable to finish his speech, and later informed officials that the remainder of his tour would have to be "put off for a while" until there was a real problem.

He was later quoted in a Rock Springs newspaper as saying: "You people here in Wyoming need global warming. My god, it's colder than an Eskimo zombie's nipple in this godforsaken state!"

Hurns has not stated when he would continue his tour, but members close to him say that it should resume sometime after July and when Hurns gets back from Africa.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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