A study, headed by Professor J Caringbunny of the Californian Scientific Institute, which was set up to determine why women liked shoes and could not operate simple machinery, such as video recorders or cars, was released today and has concluded that women are basically stupid.
"After six years of in-depth analysis and research, conducted by some of the finest minds in the country," said Professor Caringbunny, "We have decided that they just aren't very bright."
The think tank that carried out the controversial investigation worked primarily on hormonal fluctuations within the female brain and how they affected the thought process.
"We showed a control group a video recorder and asked them to set the timer to record 'Eastenders' at 8pm, Thursday on BBC1. Our findings showed that only 8% were capable of setting the timer, while half of those got the wrong day or time and the other half recorded Corrie on ITV."
Another experiment asked women to put a price on how much they would pay for a pair of shoes.
"The results clearly showed that women had no comprehension of simple concepts like 'value' or 'worth', in fact we tried the same experiment, using oranges, with some Bolivian Spider Monkeys and their score was 85% higher than that of women."
The damming report is a blow for women everywhere who had been harbouring dreams of being seen as equal to men.
"Yes, it's unfortunate," said Professor Caringbunny, "But you can't argue with science. Women are thick and that's that."
The Spoof tried to talk to a woman today but we got all tounge-tied and ran off after saying 'hello'