Written by Buck E Filbert
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Topics: Dentists

Tuesday, 23 January 2007

image for Oral Sex and Dental Hygiene

A study by the American Dental Association has revealed that oral sex is a great way to keep your teeth and gums healthy and pearly white.

Dental hygienists have discovered there is a bacteria-eating enzyme in sperm and vaginal secretions that result from sexual stimulation.

It's been observed that porn girls and the male performers they engage in sex with, affectionately known as "meat puppets", have the most beautiful teeth in the world.

After examining over 2000 porno tapes the scientific team came to the conclusion porn performers did indeed have unusually sparkling smiles. They extrapolated the one thing porn stars and civilians did not share in common, that was the ingestion of sperm and vaginal secretions.

Once the team made this observation they put oral bacteria and sperm and vaginal juice in petri dishes, placed it under a microscope and much to their delight discovered the sexual by product ate the bacteria associated with dental decay and halitosis, more commonly known as bad breath.

Jenna Jamerson, well-known porn girl and sex performer, claims she saves the unused portions of the fluids left over from sex scenes and gargles with it on a daily basis. And she was voted girl with best teeth by the ADA's popular "Dentists and Dental Hygiene" magazine just last month.

One porn star volunteered, "depending on the size of your partner you can gain anything from an stronger jaw and lips to sadly, dental floss, if your partner has extremely small pants"

The flood of products resulting from this study could range from sex-flavored mouthwash to BJ toothpaste.

From the desk of
Buck E. Filbert
Jan 23 2007

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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