A man was discharged from hospital today after becoming Britian's first full body transplant survivor.
The man, Bob matchstick, was welding the petrol tank on his car, when it exploded and it was only the quick thinking of a neighbour that saved his life.
"I heard the explosion and ran to help," said hero neighbour, Phil Cutlet, "By the time I got there, all that was left of Bob was his teeth. I'd seen a documentary about how doctors could sew fingers and stuff back on, so I put them in a bag of frozen peas and rushed them to the hospital."
The eight hour operation consisted of doctors taking the teeth and transplanting them into the body of a homeless wino.
Head surgeon, Professor J Caringbunny, said today "Obviously there will be some side effects such as disorientation and he may even inherit some of the characteristics of the donor. We are proud, however, to have successfully achieved the worlds first full body transplant."
The Spoof tracked Bob down to a gutter, where he was lying unconscious beside a bottle of buckfast, but he declined to comment.