Written by Duff
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Topics: Robots

Tuesday, 16 January 2007

image for Mutant Robot Crabs Run Riot In North Sea
A mutant robot crab's claw found in a fisherman's nets yesterday

Fears in Cromer Norfolk that the sea has been taken over by a strain of mutant robot crabs.

Trawlerman, Billy Birdseye, told us:

"Oh arr! We'm been seeing lots o' these strange varmints a floatin' about in the sea. You can see their silvery claws a shinin' in the water by moonlight. Oh arr, oh arr! Yes boy!"

It's thought that these mutants are evolving as a result of radioactive waste that's in the North Sea off the Norfolk coast. But a spokesman for a nuclear power station said:

"There is no chance whatsoever of pollution leaking out of one of our power stations and causing a mutant strain of crabs. No way. And I'd stake any of my three arms on it. Just you mark my words"

Nevertheless the fishermen of Cromer are not convinced. One told us:

"We had a deck hand what fell into the sea last week and by the time we fished him out again he weren't but no more than a frazzle. There be bad things in the water. Oh arr!

Food Minister, Porky Trubshaw, attempted to put a brave face on things and ate a fish supper purchased from a local fish and chip shop in the harbour.

In fairness he appeared to suffer no ill effects from his meal but he did develop a ghostly green glow when seen in the dark.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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