Written by Fife Peterson
Print this

Monday, 15 January 2007

image for Cloudy Apple Juice Riddle Solved
Blackcurrent drinkers to 'spoil' their stock in a shock return to apple drinking

Scientists in the UK have finally put to rest the riddle of how some apple juice has a 'cloudy' appearance. After many different tests which have used space-age technology & cutting edge methods, Scientists have finally been able to remove the 'cloud matter' from juice, making the liquid clear. Tests have taken place over the last few weeks & officials are pleased to announce it is in fact apple or 'pulp from apple skins'.

Cloudy apple juice theories in the past have been as wide & varied as angry spirit gods, the curse of an ancient pirate Bob eyed Pete & actual cloud matter that apple trees absorb through their bark & transfer to the apples during the apples first 3-4 weeks of growth.

Asda, Sainsbury's & Tesco have all announced that they are keen to stock clear apple juice drinks now & Chelsea FC are in talks with Granny Smith for a new sponsorship deal.

Apples are part of your 5 a day the human body needs to stay healthy & in good shape. Beer is not, but scientists now believe drinking 15 pints of apple based Cider drinks can lower blood pressure, rejuvenate hair growth & cure aids.

Make Fife Peterson's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 multiplied by 5?

3 20 6 18
56 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more