Written by President Bush
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Topics: NASA, Earth

Sunday, 14 January 2007

image for NASA: The Planet is Spinning Backwards

NASA astronomers shocked the scientific community by confirming Pablo Picasso's long held theory that this 3rd rock which we call home is indeed spinning to the left instead of spinning to the right as previously thought.

Wall street reacted to the announcement by not even reacting to the announcement. President Bush responded by declaring a state of emergency in all states east of the Mason Dixon line and sending more troops to Iraq while pocket protector wearing geeks at slash.com duked it out in their discussion forums ultimately crashing the whole site.

Pablo Picasso, long thought to be some famous painter over there somewhere was also, unknown to many a "closet physicist" attempting in his spare time to invent everything from a zero gravity subatomic Jack 'O Lantern to a tachyonic hyper-dimensional portal into an alternate universe (which according to many is where he got the bizarre ideas for most of his bizarre paintings).

NASA in an official press conference explained the Pablo/Earth-spinning-backwards connection saying,

"Not only could Picasso almost paint but he also had an eerie haunting inner feeling that his world, THE world was .. spinning backwards, a fact that we now can conclusively prove."

When asked HOW they could tell that the planet is spinning backwards and who the heck cared NASA administrator Michael Griffin told reporters,

"Just look up in the sky. The stars are moving backwards can't you see? Now time itself is out of sync."

In light of NASA'S revelation the National Weather Service recommends that all residents of planet Earth before going to bed tonight set their clocks back 10,000 years.

"Don't worry" Administrator Griffin said, "We got through Y2K, we can certainly get through this."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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