Macworld, San Francisco - (Ass Mess): A revolutionary new Wiccan hex-messaging i-Phone launched at the annual Geekfest in San Francisco this week is a runaway winner according to reports which show it is outstripping conventional cellphone technology sales and putting rival products into the shade.
The gadget, dubbed the PsyPhone, is so smart it can automatically block all spam calls with an instant hex rebuff, download your favorite incantations, warn you when some fundamentalist evangelical creationist asshole two blocks away is about to harass you into buying one of the Reverend Pat Robertson's Age-Defying Protein Pancakes AND make sure you get a seat on the subway during the rush hour.
The $100 phone works via groundbreaking new satellite technology that downloads cosmic rays before turning them into a radio wave beam which then utilises a solar micro-panel in its fascia to store up to one thousand hours of connectivity time to the internet. What more could you want?
The PsyPhone goes on sale on the feast of Beltane, May 1st and is poised to storm the market. Happy hexing folks!