Written by King David
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Topics: Science, Farmers, Nature

Sunday, 7 January 2007

image for Conversation Sparks Expedient Study; Professionals Over-Thinking "Big Issues" In Life
"Farmer Bill" and Satirist, "King David" Discussing The Prospect of Having Children

Scientific studies came out today proving that persons belonging to the American, professional class, have a tendency to over-think issues like marriage and having children and should take a lesson from the working class if they are really serious about either.

The study appeared in the wake of a conversation satire writer, "King David", 43, had with his good buddy, "farmer Bill", also 43. During the conversation, it was revealed that both the satirist and the hobby farmer tended to over-think the big issues such as marriage and children, choosing to wait for the perfect moment, or mate instead and not feeling strongly one way or another about having children.

Both men up until a year in a half go had never been married. After many years of being single, "farmer Bill" tied the knot with his online sweetheart, "farmer Jo."

It was reported that "farmer Bill" had breeched the subject of having children with the perplexing King finding solace in the fact that rednecks are always having children and somehow seem to manage.

After querying the obfuscating farmer about his wife's desire in this area and finding out that she does, in fact, want children demonstrated by her hinting around lately during "baby" commercials, David offered this advice to the compulsively obdurate farmer:

"What you guys need to is get a six pack and go get drunk some evening, have wild, unhindered sex, and blame it on the beer."

Silenced, the farmer then was reported rising from his seat next to the satirist, picking up a pair of cutters shaped like giant scissors, entering his field and beginning to hack away at all the dead grass in one of his rows saying, "Git-er-done!"

The study also reported that parents of cogitating professionals are sick and tired of waiting for their children to get married and have kids and are ready to begin resorting to drastic measures if they have to wait any longer. It didn't say what those measures would be.

In other news today, white-collar professionals are sick of sitting at their desks all day long and having nothing to show for their efforts except a pay check and are trading in their high-dollar jobs for manual labor.

"At least we can see what we've accomplished for the day," one accountant was reported as saying.

Blue collar workers, on the other hand, were reported as sick of trudging through the mud and cold all day and are going back to school in large numbers, so that they can get the cushy, white-collar jobs and not have to worry about it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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