Sexy Britney got a pleasant surprise when he got her Christmas tree home and it began singing raunchy Spice Girls hits.
‘I didn't mind at first,' she explained ‘but after a week of listening to the Spices, I began to get depressed.'
‘I took the tree back to B&Q, but the manager refused to give me the £20 that I had paid for the six-foot Norwegian Spruce.'
‘It was at this point that my depression led me to start drinking heavily.'
‘I even started to enjoy daytime TV!'
Mr Derek Acorah, a top paranormal expert, could find no logical reason why the tree should sing.
‘I once had a gas cooker that played the Terry Wogan morning radio show,' he added.
‘And that was a real pain in the arse too!'