Plagued again with record snowfall Denver officials began construction of a 97 story 38 mile wide umbrella which experts believe will protect them from the snows AND make quite a good shield against the rains should Spring ever arrive again. Scientists at the University of Colorado spoke with umbrella expert Michael Jackson who told them
"I use it to keep the sunrays off but I guess you can use one to keep you dry too. I never go out when it rains or snows or it's windy or the temperature falls below 78 or there's a rainbow out or the clouds are not right or my tummy hurts or Janet's in a bad mood or .."
Haliburton, Iraq's contractor has agreed to build the giant umbrella over Denver quoting city officials an initial price of 87 billion dollars. After a brief negotiation Haliburton dropped their price to 4 million but could not guarantee the umbrella's ability to fold up "just right" without first consulting Dick Cheney and receiving an extra 150 million in umbrella folding up high technology "research fees".
Fargo South Dakota Mayor Dennis Walaker has expressed interest in an umbrella for his city should the Denver/Haliburton project work out. Mayor Walaker said,
"Denver's not SEEN snow. Up here if we can find our houses after a snowfall it's a good day. And that's in the summertime."
The Denver umbrella if constructed will, many say become the 8th wonder of the world. Denver officials do say that small low flying aircraft WILL have to maneuver around the umbrella but that's a small price to pay for keeping the city dry, their classrooms open and that airport of theirs raking in the dough.