Written by mikewadestr
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Friday, 20 October 2017

image for Newly Invented Pill Cures Hangovers
Thank god the sober pill is finally here.

A group of scientist at Boozeyman Pharmaceuticals have developed a pill which cures hangovers. The pill, named Soberhop, is to be taken after one's last drink and takes no more than 2 minutes to completely sober up the recipient, regardless of how much they have had to drink.

"Soberhop did the trick for me", said a smiling Joe Stumble. "I took the pill when I got home from the bar and in a couple of minutes I was completely sober trying to figure out what made so mad as to get in a bar fight earlier in the evening".

"I highly recommend this pill".

Another user, Sarah Weave had the following to say about the pill: "I was driving home from the bar the other night and managed to hit eight parked cars, a parked scooter and a frog. The police pulled me over when I hit the frog and began charging me for a DWI. I failed the field sobriety test so they took me back to the station for a breathalyzer test. On the way I snuck a Soberhop in my mouth and by the time we got to the station and to the point where I took the breathalyzer I blew 0.00. They admitted they were wrong and dropped all the charges and released me". They didn't even charge me for hitting the frog".

Alan Doublesight had the following to say about the pill: "I was at the bar seeing double when I fell into a bunch of tables where patrons were sitting. I knocked over everyone's drink, mostly on them. They got mad and tried to get the bartender to throw me out of the bar. I quickly took a Soberhop and told the bartender I had slipped on a wet spot on the floor. I proved I was perfectly sober by doing cartwheels and backflips across the room".

The only downside to the pill Soberhop are the side effects which are only two. One: it can cause you to vote for Donald Trump and Two: It can make you write a book after you lost an election blaming every single soul on the planet for causing you to lose.

One other downside of Soberhop is its price. One pill costs $3,000 and it is not covered by insurance. Apparently, the company Boozeyman is being run from prison by Sartin Mhkreli who was put in jail for fraud when he was CEO of the company Big Fucking Pharmaceuticals.

As of press time it has been learned that Sartin Mhkreli was fighting to get out of solitary confinement for hocking chocolate chip cookies in order to raise the price of Soberhop to $10,000 a pill.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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