Written by Jaggedone
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Thursday, 24 August 2017

image for It is a fact proven by scientists; 45% of Brits are damn lazy!
Lazy Brit or starving, running, brisk walking Ethiopian; who has the best deal?

A recent research by scientists, healthcare experts and fitness freaks has proven to the whole world that fundamentally, Brits are damn lazy!

45% of over 16's prefer to laze on the sofa, drink cans of lager, refuse to go out for a brisk walk to the off licence for a refill, pizza joint, burger bunker or walk the doggy; in fact many do it on-line, apart from letting the nippers walk the dog!

Fitness studios in the UK are filled with fitness freaks. London is filled with lycra dressed bikers, and the BBC, plus other UK TV channels preach healthy diets and lifestyle, but it seems their messages fall on deaf ears for the lazy 45% who are addicted to Eastenders or Masterchef!

Compared to the skinny Dutch, who ride their bikes to work on a daily basis, eat loads of cheese, cream cakes and love a Heineken or three, Brits fall way short of being classified as healthy as them (and they do not wear lycra whilst riding their bikes either!).

US citizens are not even worth examining because "barge arses" are as common as KFC and walking down the streets of all major US cities one has to say, "Man they are awesomely f'ing FAT honeypie!"

Germans come out slightly better as only roughly 40% of Germans are classified as "beer swigging, lazy, overweight and useless," meaning once again the Germans beat their old rivals in league tables once again!

Danes are top of the league as far as healthy living goes; they ride bikes, eat loads of fish, work hard and are the happiest, healthiest population on the planet! Only Ethiopians can match them, they run more, are skinny because they have nothing to eat and, their women have to make daily brisk walks of over 50 kilometres carrying huge pots of foul water on their heads!

Final question: Is it so important to be so healthy in the modern world or is a "healthy Ethiopian lifestyle" more recommendable?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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