Written by Jaggedone
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Topics: India

Thursday, 6 July 2017

image for Indian Gurus demand to have their brains frozen!
India's Nr 1 Guru would be turning in his grave (if he had one) at the thought of being a frozen stiff!

After spending years in a deep freezer Indian Guru, Ashutosh Maharaj, has won his case to remain there until his followers pull the plug or they cannot pay the electricity bill!

Now Gurus all over India are demanding the same right as their frozen colleague because they feel their brains must not be burnt because they are much too valuable and could end up in Pakistan (think about that one)?

There is only one slight problem, not all Gurus are rich enough to keep their electricity bills going after passing over to the other side, especially those hanging around temples begging for money from rich western or Japanese tourists!

In fact one Guru gave Jaggedone's religious star CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) reporter, Bagwhan Rata-Tofu (He's a veggie roach, very seldom race and only spotted in India) the following interview:

"Sire why do you want to be frozen like Ashutosh?"

"It's obvious dummkopf, it's fucking hot in India sitting here all day naked flashing my willy at female tourists, I need to chill man!"

"OK, so it has nothing to do with being at a higher spiritual level?"

"Of course man, we Gurus are always high after smoking joints all day, man, have you got some rupees, I need a joint man!"

"But sir, your colleague, Ashutosh Maharaj, was a multimillionaire, what went wrong with you?"

"Dickhead, look at my willy, it's typical Indian, you can't hardly see it man, and his was ginormous compared to ours sitting here waiting to get burnt, get it?"

So there you have it dear reader, the Indian government will only allow Gurus to be frozen if they can pay their electricity bills and have huge dicks (a rarity in India)! The others can be thrown in the filthy Ganges!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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