Written by Nathan Shreeve
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Friday, 15 December 2006

image for New DIY Breast Implants for those on the NHS
It can be inflated using a normal bicycle tyre pump

Those who suffer daily embarrassment due to the size of their small breasts will soon be able to participate in a brand new scheme from the NHS.

The revolutionary "DIY" breast implant system will enable the patient to determine the exact size of their new breasts for themselves.

The short procedure involves inserting a balloon into the breast attached to a top-of-the-range valve, which is used to replace the nipple. The valve is covered with a highly realistic nipple shaped cap, and once the procedure is completed, the breast will be able to be inflated and deflated at will, using a normal bicycle tyre pump.

This treatment will be made available from the end of 2007, and NHS Directors are currently trialling the new operation, the Super Model Ann Widdecombe being one of their patients.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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