Written by dickmitch
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Topics: Dentists, Toothpaste

Wednesday, 12 April 2017

The National Dental Association have revealed that all toothpastes are exactly the same paste, just sometimes coloured differently.

In a series of revelations, Dentists have said the best advice for having visually clean teeth is not using so called "whitening" toothpastes but actually not to stain them with coffee, red wine and smoking in the first place. Additionally rather than trying the latest "plaque fighting" toothpastes to avoid fillings, the advice is now simplified to "don't wear the enamel down with sugary snacks & drinks".

Apparently nobody bothered to read the small print on the Whitening and Plaque fighting products, which state that you need to complete 100 brushes before they become effective. The National Dental Association have pointed out that if you brush absolutely anything 100 times, it's going be at least marginally cleaner than how it started.

We challenged, Kate Phillips, a respected and terribly good looking Dentist, known for promoting a well known toothpaste product on TV why she passionately favoured a particular brand with regenerative enamel scientific properties. Kate replied: "well that's completely different, they paid me a mint to say that shit".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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