Written by thomas o'hanlon
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Topics: Mail, Recycling

Saturday, 18 February 2017

image for Man converts mailbox into recycle bin
Norm Johnson,problem solver

Norm Johnson of Milwaukee Wisconsin has retrofitted his mail box to be his recyclable bin. "Basically I just cut the bottom out of my mailbox at the foot of my drive way and rolled my recycle bin underneath it."

Letter carrier Irene Shepherd says "I don't care what he does with that side of the mailbox as long as I'm doing my job by opening the front of it and placing his mail in it"

Mr. Johnson says it will save him the time it takes "to gather the weeks' worth of junk mail that gets scattered through the house and then march it on out to the bin, hell, I never get anything meaningful in that mail box. Pay all my bills on line, oh I suppose some Christmas cards will be unopened but hell if I care that the Goodsen family is sending me a picture of their dam family 'happy holidays, this is what we look like' I mean who gives a shit."

Mr. Johnson has devoted his new found free time to deleting e-mails. "I'm actually devising a program that will patch my incoming e-mails completely around my computer and straight into cyber space. I suppose they may all gather together someplace like that big floating plastic reef in the pacific but hell let the next generation figure out what to do with that"

If that project is successful Mr. Johnson plans on seeking more mundane chores that he can remove from his life. "I got my eye on perhaps building urinals at every chair in every room so we can quit with that constant getting up and trudging to the bathroom nonsense."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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