Written by Al N.
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Thursday, 9 February 2017

image for North Korean DIC-tator Kim Jong-Un Starting to Affect Gravity
The moon's tides are affected by Kim's weight, but scientists are more concerned that he might eat the moon.

Science Town, USA Scientists announced today that something in North Korea is beginning to affect Earth's gravity.

"We are sure the object causing the irregularity is North Korea's dictator Kim Jong-Un. He has continued to expand as he gains weight and has now reached such a massive size that he has developed his own gravitational field. Whenever he goes from one side of North Korea to another, he sucks all the gravity in the country towards him, so that there is so little gravity in the opposite part of North Korea. In that part, there is so little gravity that objects begin to float" spoke a scientist.

"It is now necessary in North Korea to arrange things so that objects do not float away into space when Kim Jong-Un is on the opposite side of the country" said the spokesperson.

"We are holding off suggesting a remedy, since it has become less frequent that the rotund dictator moves around. As it is now, his legs can't support his weight and his aides must use heavy equipment to move him from place to place" said the head Science spokesperson.

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