Written by Dr. Billingsgate
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Topics: Transgender

Friday, 8 April 2016

image for Evidence Of First Transgender Toilet Found In Appalachia

BILLINGSGATE POST: Long cut off from the mainstream of American culture, it is no exaggeration to suggest that the white inhabitants of the Appalachian Mountains were transgender pioneers. Geographically isolated throughout most of their history, they were mistakenly thought to be socially conservative by pundits living in the metropolitan areas of The United States.

Although their ethos and family values were considered old fashioned, the recent discovery of a three-holed outhouse in West Virginia gives question to whether the hillbillies who settled this region were homophobic or social progressives.

Found in an upright position by a team from Indiana University Department of Gender Studies led by Dr. Melissa Cuthburt, it was immediately noticed that three symbols were etched above the door of the dilapidated structure; a male figure, a female figure, and what appeared to be a question mark. Upon opening the door it was noted that this was a three-holer, usually a sign that the family had at least three members who liked to poop together.

Dr. Cuthbert, whose resume included her affiliation with the San Francisco branch of Dykes on Bikes and the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, was initially thrilled to find this important evidence of transgender sexual inclusion among the mountain folk of West Virginia.

Alas, after transporting the outhouse back to the Indiana campus for further examination, it was discovered that what was initially thought to be a question mark, was actually a hangman's noose that had been partially disconnected at the lower-left side of the noose by the ravages of age and weather.

Upon further research it was discovered that the noose was a symbol of what would happen to you if you tipped the outhouse over while a family member was using the facility; a typical Halloween trick endemic to the region.

NOTE: It is important to note that the difference between a noose and a question mark can be as little as three inches.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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